The Art of Rest: Reclaiming Life from Workaholism

Add to your list(s) Send you e-mail reminders Further detail
Subscribe using ical/vcal (Help)

I’m a furious workaholic in recovery. It’s wholly ineffective, detrimental to my mental and physical well-being, and detrimental to my interpersonal connections—particularly with my child. How, then, did this come to pass?

It Is Not Better To Do Three Jobs Than One.

I was a struggling single mother who worked three jobs to make ends meet twelve years ago. Despite having two bachelor’s degrees, I could not find employment in my location that would have earned enough to cover my rent, car payments, food, and the minimal amount required for student loans.

People usually say something like, “Yeah, but you could have moved to get a better job,” when they hear this.

No one there has ever been impoverished. It’s shocking how much money it takes to move your family and your life, have good credit to rent a new place, have savings to put down a down payment on a new home, etc.

“Yes, but some companies pay relocation costs,” people respond next.

I had just graduated from college then, had no experience, and needed to learn how to conduct myself professionally in an interview. Businesses were still alive to get me to move across the nation and join their team.

I took on those three jobs in an attempt to make ends meet. I worked part-time in IT at the college and alternated between working in a nearby gym and childcare on the weekends, depending on my work schedule. It was not enjoyable. And even then, I was still having financial difficulties. I got affected by workaholism . .

The Huge “W”

People sometimes say things like, “Oh, they don’t work hard enough,” about welfare claimants. They need to put in more effort. Simply put, they’re lazy,” etc.

Is there anyone who misuses the system? Indeed. Do others use it as intended, adding to their circumstances while they strive to make improvements as soon as possible? Indeed.

Life happens; people acquire cancer, loved ones pass away, and you find yourself in circumstances you never would have imagined. That is the purpose of the program. I was present. I was there when it happened. And believe me when I say that many individuals on assistance would give anything to escape it.

When I used my food stamps to pay at grocery stores, I received so many side looks, eye rolls, and annoyances from customers and staff that it was dehumanizing. I held two degrees. I had three jobs going on. I was trying my hardest.

Welfare Is Over; Welcome To Financial Stability With A Dash Of Panic.

It was terrible, then. However, it saw me through until I managed to secure a full-time job that covered my expenses. Then, I got a full-time job that covered my costs and allowed me to take weekends and evenings off.

Year after year, things got better until finally, one day, I woke up in a stable financial situation, complete with a new car, a house of my own, the means to pay my child’s private school tuition, three crazy cute dogs to keep me company, and a pay that exceeded everything I could have ever imagined.

It took a long time to complete—12 years. I came from welfare to this place, and you can too. All you have to do is keep moving forward, no matter what obstacles life presents.

So why did I start a piece about being a workaholic by talking about being on welfare twelve years ago?

That sense of being impoverished, freaking out at the first sign of an unforeseen bill, fretting about losing your place, or running out of heat? You remember that.

That terrifying notion that “I must stockpile money forever and ever and work myself into an early grave to get by” never goes away, even when it’s so far in the rearview mirror that you can’t see it. That’s constantly there, nagging at the back of your consciousness.

Going Downhill

I thus kept up my insane work schedule even when I didn’t need the extra money. Then, even though I was working a salary job that didn’t pay overtime, I found myself putting in absurd amounts of overtime. At that point, it was a way of life and thinking. My life was controlled by the anxiety that the only way I could maintain a stable financial situation was to work nonstop.

The group I worked with supported a healthy work-life balance and encouraged unplugging at the end of the day. They encouraged taking time off, offered assistance when things were too intense, and offered to add more staff as necessary. Working 16-hour days helped reduce my panic attacks. Not that I had to. Nobody anticipated it. It was something I did to myself. That wasn’t very smart.

My Child Breaks My Heart—Then Saves Me.

One evening, my daughter entered the office and declared, “Mommy, you’re done with work!” It was the turning moment. Join me for some playtime!

I turned to face her, frustrated, and said, “I have to finish this.” I must work late to pay for your video games and toys. Tonight is not a moment for me to play.

She murmured, “I don’t care about any of that stuff,” as her eyes filled with tears and she became highly motionless. All I want to do is hang out with you.

My heart fell apart into a million fragments. I hugged her tightly and stepped away from the computer to let us play.

The following day, I spoke with my supervisor, informed her that we required additional staff, detailed my projects in coordination with other departments across the organization, disclosed my hourly wage (she was pretty angry that I had been doing everything on my own), and decided to start over.

TIL : Regaining Mastery Over Your Life

That day, I gained some essential knowledge.

• Life is not work. Your life is supported by the work you do. To truly live the life you are working to help, you must take a break from your work.
• Seek assistance as required. Being a hero and taking on all responsibilities can only result in short-term exhaustion and subpar work.
• Extended work hours do not equate to increased output. Working long hours frequently has the opposite effect of increasing productivity and producing higher-quality work.
• Your team requires more members if you need more work hours to finish the task. If your organization refuses to add more employees, you should explain what you’re working on and inquire about which tasks should wait so you can concentrate on the new project they’ve asked for.
• You have just one life and one person. You must put it into practice.

Balance

I still make mistakes occasionally and work through the night. There was no justification for me to have worked on a project until four in the morning. I was in the zone and didn’t want to stop working because I had lots of time before my deadline, and no one was pressing me.

Such one-offs can be self-inflicted or ordered by the employer. If a big launch is happening at your organization, you may have a hectic couple of weeks with later-than-usual hours. However, it must end after that. It’s unsuitable for the group, not for the organization’s culture, not ideal for people’s personal or health, and just not sustainable. And even if the company is well-known, it’s perfectly OK to start looking for other jobs and quit if it requires overtime.

Managers don’t deserve your skills if they prioritize the product over the well-being and health of their staff.

Items to Consider

So, if you’re a workaholic, carefully examine your priorities and life. Then, reset your clock and make any necessary adjustments. You will occasionally relapse when trying to modify your behaviour, but as long as you are committed to doing so, you will succeed.

Occasionally, unforeseen circumstances emerge and place obstacles in the way of your aspirations and goals that appear insurmountable. Even if it takes longer than anticipated, you can still accomplish them. Continue advancing with unwavering force.

Last but not least, remember that life is fleeting. Choose a career you are passionate about, but remember that this is not your life. It would help if you led the life you diligently tried to provide for.